My Respect for Me Too and March for Our Lives Movements Grows Even Greater Now
By Elena Matyas
Many survivors of sexual assault do not speak out about their experiences because they are ashamed, feel guilty, blame themselves or feel threatened. This is the tragic reality of our victim-blaming culture. We’ve all heard it. And maybe even said it.
“That’s what you get when you go out dressed like that.”
“What did you think would happen if you went to his room?”
March for Our Lives advocates share their haunting stories, bury their friends and loved ones and still get mocked and stomped on by those who believe that guns have more rights than people.
About six weeks after Roxie’s drowning, Doug and I spoke with reporters from two local papers to relay the facts we learned from the coroner’s investigation. Roxie’s death was not the result of some mystery “incident” in the Summerkids pool, as the camp implied.
Roxie died because those charged with her care did not live up to their responsibilities. Counselors turned away from her, did not see her struggling and she drowned. She was deprived of oxygen long enough to render her irreparably brain dead.
Neglect. Neglect. Neglect. Drowning.
After the articles were published, a friend shared comments posted on Facebook. Most were supportive and heartfelt. Then I read this: “Don’t blame it on the camp or the lack of legislation. Start being parents.”
The reality of what we are up against settled in.
For years to come, Doug and I will be forced to defend Roxie. We will contend over and over again that her death was in no way due to her immune deficiency or the tiny holes in her heart or her not fully developed motor skills.
We will defend our decision to send Roxie to Summerkids where we entrusted the Di Massa family and their staff with one basic duty: to protect our precious cargo. They will do whatever it takes to protect and preserve their reputation and bury their accountability.
Our choice to go public with the details of Roxie’s death and fight for change and justice will prolong and intensify our battle.
We’ve been asking ourselves whether this a battle worth fighting. It will never bring Roxie back. The truth may very well suffer in a court of law. We have seen truth suffer anywhere and everywhere for years now, whether it’s because attorneys or politicians find loopholes or people simply do not find it important to own their actions.
I answer in the words of the brave Dr. Christine Blasey Ford: “I am here today not because I want to be.” "The lasting lesson is that we all have the power to create real change and we cannot allow ourselves to be defined by the acts of others."
We may lose battles. But we won’t ever lose sight of the truth. And the truth is our baby died because nobody was looking after her the way they promised. And now we have took after ourselves and promise to never let Roxie down in doing so.